I want my MTV

I like quality television just as much as the next gal. This is why, as I was perusing the digital guide the other day, I decided to take a quick peek at a show I have occasionally happened upon before. This show is on the network MTV and it is called "True Life." Now, I just want to say a couple of things about MTV. First, I remember the excitement surrounding MTV's launch in 1981. At Shabbos lunch this week, my very gefrumpt friend said, "Do you remember the first video that aired on MTV? Video Killed the Radio Star!!!" We both made exclamatory noises.

I also remember how exciting it was when I was in high school and "The Real World" first aired. This was the first actual reality TV show, which now, as a genre, has hijacked television broadcasting and is filled with a lot of shtuss (silliness), though I will admit that I enjoy some of it tremendously. I mean, I wouldn't watch Kardashians or Real Housewives or anything ;) but...

So the other day, as I was innocently searching for a documentary on the important scientific discoveries of the last century, I stumbled upon "True Life: I Am Addicted to Exercise." How could I not watch that instead? One of the participants was a 20-something ex-alcoholic named Megan who obsessively worked out after getting sober. The therapists, ex-drunk friends, and MTV producers all managed to get together and figure out that in exercising several hours a day and not frequenting bars, Megan was substituting one addiction for another. Brilliant. Wow. I mean, WAY more interesting than scientific discoveries or some other mumbo jumbo. This is REAL LIFE.

Anyway, when Megan realized that she needed to, like, get a job so she wouldn't keep obsessing over working out, guess where she applied for a job? Yep, you guessed it, a gym!!!! This is where I turned off the TV and quietly slunk away. You see, dear readers, I have long said that it is my dream to work at...Starbucks. I mean, I may as well, right? I am waiting for True Life: I Am Addicted to Starbucks. If you see that MTV is looking for participants, let me know.

Meanwhile, the most useful "True Life" episode I have watched is "True Life: I Live in Saudi Arabia." This True Life episode profiled young people who are unwilling to conform to the strict standards of living in Saudi Arabia. Strict standards is a massive understatement. OK, now I am not talking about the strictures we religious fanatics around here adhere to like keeping kosher, dressing modestly, covering our hair, keeping the Sabbath etc, which may seem very stringent to some.

I am talking about, um, freedom of any kind. Like there is none. And I'm pretty sure that reality TV is not allowed. The coolest was this group of metal heads who kept trying to find a venue in Saudi Arabia to play their music. WAS NOT HAPPENING. And I loved the part where the 20 year old woman had to dress up like a boy so she could ride a bike in public. It needs to be mandatory viewing for all Americans, this True Life episode, to remind us that we too often take freedom for granted.

Theoretically, as in, if I were to touch him with a ten foot pole, I would like to share the important freedom lesson with a fellow Starbuckian named Pervy Irv. I see him around town (in all the Starbucks I frequent) pretty often and he looks, well, pervy. I have tried to sit as far as possible from him what with his wild eyes, long icky hair and scary face. One day, I was innocently "working" at Starbucks when I saw some big huge guy looking at Pervy Irv's screen.

"Dude!" he exclaimed, "There are CHILDREN here." Then he marched off to the manager, who promptly took her green-aproned self and confronted Irv with, "Sir, you may not view those kinds of images in our store. If I see this again, you will not be able to use our wifi." The best was that Irv just stayed where he was! Oh no, big threat, can't use their wifi. In Saudi Arabia, all content is blocked. Like everything. And if you do something wrong and get caught, it's curtains for you.

But here, in America, Pervy Irv could just peep at whatever he wanted, until he was busted by Miss Green Apron. So he just moved on to the Starbucks one zip code over (yes, I saw him there the next day). But on this day, I kept my head down and tried to avoid eye contact with any of the other Starbucks customers. But I was grinning, because I was just so proud to be an American.