Our new addition

I had it circled on my calendar for six months. As soon as I found out the date, January 10th, I was gleefully anticipating the impending addition that would irretrievably, irrevocably change my life and my family's life forever. I went in on January 9th on the off chance that it would happen a day early. I said, "So, I think I'm supposed to have it tomorrow, but could you just check?" He said, "Yep, you're good. You can have it today." I almost fainted with joy. I had been waiting so long. "There are two possibilities," he told me. I waited breathlessly for him to tell me what I was expecting. "You can have either the 32 gigabyte or 64 gigabyte." A huge smile spread over my face. And that's how I became the proud owner of my very own iPhone 4S with Siri! Bam!

Getting a new iPhone really is very much like adding a new baby to the family. Here is what I mean:

1. Sometimes you just sit and marvel at its beauty
2. You want to hold it all the time
3. You hold it very carefully so as not to drop it
4. Each day brings new surprises and growing capabilities
5. The kids in the house share the excitement but sometimes get jealous when Mommy pays too much attention to it

Here is how having a new iPhone is not like having a new baby:

1. It does not require diapers
2. One does not nurse it (unless one has serious problems)
3. It does tons of stuff for you instead of against you
4. You can insure it against loss, theft, or damage

And I have to say, it does give me a little extra happiness to see Big Shot Husband for once not have a cooler phone than I have. I mean, I know that he's the one who actually earns money and therefore needs/deserves the better phone. However, I have told him that since he is not eligible for an upgrade for another 6 months, by that time they may have the iPhone 12 and/or I can teach him how to use it. This information does not seem to reassure him.

This was especially true the other day when I shared the following with him. See, if I were one of those people who watched, say, really trashy TV like, say, Teen Mom 2, I might have noticed that Jenelle has an iPhone. This girl:

• had a baby at 16
• lost said baby to her mother as she was unable to care for him
• is constantly tangling with the law
• has no job
• smokes funny cigarettes
• is failing community college
• has a loser boyfriend she repeatedly bails out of jail

So I told him that if he really wants a new iPhone he can either pay $800 now, before his upgrade or get on a reality show. I firmly believe that the Cake family would be awesome as a reality show. Long-suffering BiSh lives with fun yet moody Honeycake and their four havoc-creating, maddening yet cute, hijinx prone children. 

I can see it now, "Next week on the Cake Family: The Honorable and Mrs. Cake go to another Torah Institution dinner while a Yeshiva girl comes to babysit. Perfect Eldest Son gets another 100% on his chumash test, Zsa Zsa goes to the orthodontist, Eva buys a new piece of clothing with sequins on it, and Gorby drives everyone crazy with his constant comedy routine that is not funny after a while. And Honeycake does carpool and makes Shabbos."  

I guess there would only really be one episode because, let's face it, it doesn't vary all the much from one week to the next. Although, there could be the "Yamim Noraim special," and "The Pesach Special," which would both involve more cooking yet less carpool. And the contrast between cooking a lot for three Yom Tovs in as many weeks and massive cleaning for many weeks coupled with cooking for just one week would make for fascinating TV.  Intriguing.  Meanwhile, Big Shot can sometimes borrow my iPhone if he has a pressing question for Siri or is dying to play Angry Birds. I am so generous that way.