Growing Pains

A few days ago, my girls, Zsa Zsa (age 9) and Eva (age 8) experienced something new and exciting. It is called: instead of watching Arthur or Wordgirl on PBS kids for a good time, they were allowed to watch a sitcom!! Now, this form of television was entirely novel to them. Here's how it happened:

Picture Motzei Shabbos in the Cake household. All is quiet, mostly because Gorby (age 6 and completely insane) now accompanies Pes (age 11) and Big Shot Husband to Father-Son Learning at our local yeshiva.  All I can say about that is, YAY!!! I have been waiting for the glorious day when Gorby became old enough to go to FSL (as we call it) and join the other male Cakes so I could have peace and quiet with my girls.

Zsa Zsa, "Mommy, can we do something special since the boys are out with Abba?"
Me, "Yes, girls, let's try to recite 50 perakim of tehillim (psalms) for all the cholim (sick people) we know before the boys return!"
HAHAHAHA. I totally didn't say that. Instead, I said, "Sure, do you guys want to watch ONE show?"
Girls, "Yes, yes thank you Mommy!! What should we watch?"

And this is where things took a dark turn. You see, even I am sick of Arthur and Wordgirl, especially since I recently put a kibosh on Cartoon Network shows due to my extreme hatred of slapsticky cartoons. And though I watched plenty of television as a young lass, and Big Shot Husband will tell you that he watched way too much TV as a youth, we both feel that our children are better off reading, with the occasional TV viewing as a special treat. The end.

However, on this night, I said, "So what do you want to watch? I'm not really sure what is good for kids these days aside from what you already watch." And then at that moment, Zsa Zsa said, "Some of my friends like the show 'Good Luck Charlie'."

Of course at this point I went straight to commensensemedia.org to determine if there is anything inappropriate in the show and, though commensensemedia assured me it is a-ok, I still felt guilty as I plopped on the couch, found it On Demand, and pushed play. Duh duh duh dum.

And guess what? It was actually cute. And funny. And harmless. And the girls LOVED it! And, I noticed, it was very similar to that old television classic we all know and love called Growing Pains (1985-1992).  This show, which was significant in my life from age 11 until I went to college, was about the Seaver family. The first thing I noticed about the house on Good Luck Charlie is that that layout is EXACTLY THE SAME as the Seaver house.

I felt a warm glow descend on me as I cuddled up to the Gabor sisters and watched them and the TV at the same time.  The looks on their beautiful little faces were priceless. It's as if they have been in a TV desert for their whole lives and they suddenly came upon a chocolate fountain.

I thought back on my childhood-how I loved that Seaver family all those years. Maggie, the sweet patient working mother, Jason, the work-at-home psychiatrist (so Maggie could further her career--very 90's PC), Mike, the (hot) Kirk Cameron, nerdy ever-misunderstood Carol, and precocious little brother Ben. (Surprise baby Chrissie came along toward the end of the series).

I realized how I had been depriving my children the pleasure of a good sitcom. I mean, Pes is 11 now and the girls are not too far behind (again, Gorby is an outlier in many ways so I throw up my hands in any dealings with him). Why shouldn't they be watching a good clean American sitcom?  Really, it's practically unpatriotic. Yes, Katie Drohn, I realize you watched Sesame Street until you were 12, but come on, you're Canadian.

Then I realized that maybe I am suffering from Growing Pains of my own. I know my babies aren't really babies so much anymore. They understand a lot more than I want to believe. The day a sophisticated teenage relative of Pes's said, "That guy is flamingly gay," I almost stroked out and insisted Pes had NO IDEA what that means. But what if he does? (PS, my Chabad rebbetzin friend, upon hearing my sordid tale, said, "Honeycake, of course he knows what gay is.")  I mean, I hope the days when my kids don't know anything "inappropriate" aren't entirely over, but I may have to face facts soon.

I know when my kids were little and completely driving me crazy in every conceivable way, I would get really irked when someone with older kids would say, "You have it easy now. Just wait until your kids are older. Small kids, small problems; Big kids, big problems."

I found this to be entirely irritating and condescending, but, alas, maybe they were correct. How do you know how to tell your kids about stuff you don't really want them to know about? How do you find out what they already know? I mean, if I say, "Oh, hi, Pes, do you know what _____ means?" If he says no, then I've really made a mess of things, right?

However, the moment I knew that I have really crossed the threshold into the "no more babies" stage is when our family friends asked if we want to go on a trip with them. They have three kids under 5 and I said words I thought I'd never say, "Big Shot Husband, I don't know if they should come. I mean, their kids are so little and I'm sure they wouldn't have a good time. I mean, the hotel experience alone is enough to make anyone want to jump out a window."

And so I flashed back to all the times my family members with older kids would say, "Oh, you don't want to take a trip like THAT, your kids are too little," or, "We never traveled anywhere until our youngest was 6."  And I would, again, get really ticked off. But maybe there is wisdom with experience. And I am now super wise apparently. Until I have teenagers. Then I am running away.